Responding to the Resignation of Pastor Bob Coy

bob coy calvary chapelI learned this morning that Bob Coy, pastor of Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale, resigned due to moral failure. It hit me hard; I was shocked, floored. (You can read the statement from the church here.)

I came to know the Lord through the ministry of Calvary Chapel in Las Vegas, Nevada when Pastor Bob was on staff there as an assistant.

The last service I went to at the church in Las Vegas was the service they announced that he was leaving to start a church in Ft. Lauderdale. I was astounded – I was leaving to move to Miami to go to university. I ran home to see how far Miami was from Fort Lauderdale. As a young man and a new Christian, I felt that God was going before me.

When I got to Florida I called Pastor Bob from a pay phone in Ft. Lauderdale and talked to him about coming to the church the following Sunday. Every Sunday after that, or at least the ones when my car was working, I would drive the 45 minutes from Miami to Ft. Lauderdale to go to the little Calvary Chapel that was meeting in a funeral home on Oakland Park Boulevard. Bob Coy was the pastor under whose ministry I really began to learn the Bible for the first time. Rarely did I hear a message of his over the years where I haven’t been encouraged and challenged. I love Pastor Bob and his family.

I can’t imagine the heartbreak and confusion that is happening in the lives of those who are close to him. We are certainly praying for him and his family and the church. I am confident that there are good and godly leaders who are ministering to him and leading the church through this difficulty. While it will be tough and painful for all parties involved, the church and the Coys will get through it, God will reign, people will grow, lives will continue to be transformed.

Times like this are good times not to scour the Internet and look for all the details about Bob Coy, but to scour our own lives and “consider ourselves lest we also be tempted.” (Galatians 6:1)

Let me suggest some ways that we can do this.

1. It’s a good time to examine how you do accountability.

Who is there in your life who asks you the tough questions? Who knows your secrets? If the answer is no one, that is a big red flag. Take measures now to change that. Proverbs 28:13 says, “He who covers his sins will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.” Numbers 32:23 says, “…your sin will find you out.” That Scripture has been proven true in painful ways for many.

2. It’s a good time to examine your conversations and desire for information.

We don’t need to know details; we don’t need to spread what we know. If you do, are you gossiping? Consider this verse: “He who covers a transgression seeks love, But he who repeats a matter separates friends.” (Proverbs 17:9, NKJV)

3. It’s a good time to examine your perspective about Christian leaders.

When it comes to popular pastors and teachers, many of us put them on pedestals on which they ought not to be. While leaders are held to a high standard (1 Timothy 3:1-7; Titus 1:7-9), they are not to be looked upon as idols or “stars”. We all have our favourite teachers, (Pastor Bob is one of mine), yet we must look beyond any pastor and keep our eyes on the Lord Jesus Christ, the leader of the church. No man died on the cross for you save the God-man Jesus Christ.

4. It’s a good time to remember God’s grace, love, and forgiveness.

“If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar, and His word is not in us. My little children, these things I write to you, so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous. And He Himself is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the whole world.” (1 John 1:8-2:2, NKJV)

“Lord Jesus, we lift up Bob Coy and his family to you at this difficult time. We lift up the congregation of Calvary Fort Lauderdale. We pray for the leaders. We pray that you will show Yourself strong in this situation. We pray that you would work all this out for Your glory. May we have a godly and Biblical response and attitude.”

Comments

  1. This is exactly how I feel about this. There should be total transparency not a shroud of secrecy. Non believers view the secrecy as an attempt to cover up or not hold that person fully accountable for all of their actions. Ive never understood this mentality. Christians should cover EACH OTHERS sin (which we dont… we point and condemn whether or not we have the facts) but covering sin does not mean hiding it from the world.

  2. Honestly? I was surprised when I heard about this, but then again not really. My guess is that there are many many Christians in the church and in leadership that are similar. Its tempting to call them “not real Christians”. I love pastor Bob. He cheated on his wife. I’m certain she feels horribly betrayed and its incredibly sad, but there is absolutely no way that this shakes my faith.

    I have enough “moral failures” in my own life. What I have a real problem with is the dishonesty in the church… the church is really to blame for that. The sin in my own life is enough to worry about for myself. Who has time to really concern themselves over what others are doing?

  3. I have to tell you i visited florida for a couple of months, and went to Calvary Chapel in March and April of 2014. I used to attend all the time when I lived there. One of the sermons that Pastor Bob was speaking on he was joking as he sometimes does when he mentioned he had this passion for girls. He looked up at the crowd and laughed and waited to see our response. He went onto further say the girl scouts that were selling the cookies. So he was putting that out there as if it was totally outlandish that He would be talking about something sexual. And then the next week I went there and the assistant Pastor was speaking for him and said that Pastor Bob was in the church was not feeling well and he was speaking in his stead. This assistant pastor did not look well either. I know now that it had to have been that the truth had surfaced in that time within that week. But, more than finding out about his adultery and porn addiction, that was shocking enough. The fact that he was joking about that in a way that implied sexuality with girls to make a joke the week before and he had been doing it all along. That part is really sick. But, he will be forgiven if he asks.

  4. I am sick after Pastor Coys leaving. I never in all my life thought this could happen. I went to the Boca church and had all my family listening to him. Porn has ruined so many family’s including my own daughters. The devil sure knows how to work against family’s. I don’t understand how Diane didn’t know what was going on. I pray for his family and really don’t think Calvary Chapel will ever be the same. I hope I am wrong. We all sin. I just don’t understand why the church says he will never come back. Sin is sin….we all sin…how can people say one sin is worse than another. I pray for his family. It is just such a big loss. I love him in Christ and hope he finds peace. He will truly be missed.

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  6. These cases ARE NOT about shooting the wounded – they are about traitors. When we start DEMANDING that leadership be what God says – we will save the Body of Christ the disgraces. He is done in ministry. Too many believers get hurt and the deceit is too deep.

    1. Well said.

      These sociopaths wreak havoc with people’s lives, destroying those around them. I count myself among those who was victimized when I found out one of these so called “men of God” was having affair with my then wife. As a result, I walked away from Christianity. It is a dead religion. These Bob Coys of the world only reassure me that I made the right decision.

      1. There is likely not going to be much of anything fair in this life. Frankly doesn’t the bible read like a playbook for all the evil that is unfair in this life. I’ve been in the church for over 40 years, and if I went to church for the preacher or God’s people I would have stopped long ago. Most follow God for blessings, few follow God because he forgives their sin. If you keep thinking people are supposed to be little Jesus’s you’re in for a horrible surprise. My biggest struggle is not becoming bitter, because of all the crap, the church and the church people do. But what part of the bible says that life was going to free of this junk? No, it says not to think its strange when we go through this stuff. Stop thinking Christianity is supposed to be a cushion from life’s rotten side. This is a fallen world and even though we’re saved…we are still rotten people till we get to heaven.

          1. I don’t agree with you, but I will say some of the people who represent the bible are a load of crap.

          2. Josey, I might agree with you to a certain extent, particularly when it comes to “contemporary Christianity”

            I’d encourage you to read the new testament without referencing any commentary (pref. KJV, but it doesnt have to be) and ask yourself what the overarching message is.

          3. I’d encourage you to read the Greek and Roman classics.

        1. Hey Monty, your comment makes me think about God’s grace! How rich and how wide! and how much He loves us in spite of our hypocrisy and sin.

      2. Hi Josey,
        I can’t imagine the pain and betrayal you must of felt. I have never been through anything like that. There have been a number of people in my life who have fallen into sin and walked away from the faith, though.
        I think if we look at the church, if we look at men, things done in the name of Christ, gross misrepresentation of Him, “spiritual” people taking advantage of others, there will be many reasons to walk away from anything that has to do with Jesus, the Bible, etc.
        I would disagree with you, though, that Christianity is a dead religion.
        What about the resurrection?

        Thanks for reading, Josey.

  7. Bible teaches many option in cases like this. I choose the one that say love and forgiveness , does not meant that he could preach next sunday, but in my heart i forgave him, like God forgave me from my sins, (even from the one i will commit tomorrow) .we are only servants of God, nobody is a Judge, only God has this privilege.

  8. It is good to ask for counseling…and know when . But I felt deep in my heart after my husband and I received counseling (two times) that it was time to leave the church..I felt a big stronghold..I .don’t want to say of what…inside the church…it is individual choice but I felt like God was not there..

  9. John 8:7
    New International Version (NIV)
    “7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her “.

    We, as Christians tend to be too quick to judge, but very slow to forgive and to love.

    “Rom 3:23.
    “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

  10. It makes no difference if you love the person or not, if you
    take the time and effort to share and/or repeat their misfortune, failure or
    mistake the root activity is called gossip.

    There are many forms of gossip and our modern day society
    has created a successful industry of it. Covered or shrouded under the term
    “news or information” many today feel comfortable and even compelled to share
    the misfortunes, failures and mistakes of others.

    Of course sharing the failures of others is considered a
    negative and tears down and does not inspire, but rather it fosters a
    noncreative environment.

    Gossip in its most lethal form will without restraint begin
    sharing the misfortune, failure and mistakes of others. Regardless of the label
    given, “concern for them” or “if you dislike them” the root activity is gossip.

    Gossip is simply defined as the idle discussion of fact or repeating
    rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others. Many hold to
    societies misguided idea that spreading rumor is gossip and spreading fact is
    not, in any form it does not alter the definition; it is still gossip.

    Apparently God is aware of us making bad choices and
    suggests that we should refrain from sharing it.

    Proverbs 11:13 There are those who go about talking of
    others making secrets public, but the true hearted-man keeps things covered. BBE

    A talebearer reveals secrets: but a faithful spirit keeps a
    matter covered. KJV-Lite.

    One who brings gossip betrays a confidence, but one who is
    of a trustworthy spirit is one who keeps a secret. NHEB

    There is little room for debate; the Christian is held to a
    higher standard and the bottom line of which is that even knowing about
    something does not give us license to repeat it.

    This does not address the evils of others that pose a
    danger; of course this fact may need to be revealed.

    So the next time a distant person or a close friend commits life’s
    worst blunder, it might be best if we not populate it across the front page of
    our modern day social mediums.

      1. Oh he’s being held accountable. That’s why he is no longer running his church and walks this life with a heavy heart now.

  11. “I came to know the Lord through the ministry of Calvary Chapel in Las
    Vegas, Nevada when Pastor Bob was on staff there as an assistant.” As a pastor, if I were you I would assess the truth of that statement. You may not truly “know” the Lord since your vision of the Lord may be clouded by a relationship initially influenced by Bob Coy. In a church propelled along by personalities and personality cults, it’s easy to see how one could lose sight of Jesus and be deluded into believing they know the Lord.

  12. You’re welcome, Tony. We never completely understand someone else’s life; our best reaction in these times is to examine our own life. Thanks for your comment.

  13. Please pray for this pastor’s victims. What he did is not merely “moral failure,” and it is not an “affair” — it is PASTORAL SEXUAL ABUSE. In a relationship of unequal power (teacher/student, doctor/patient, pastor/congregant, etc), it is impossible for the less powerful person to give meaningful consent. While the church rallies around Bob Coy, they are most likely shunning his victims. I have lived through that, and I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Please pray for Coy’s victims, and please speak of them only with respect and compassion.

  14. I didn’t know Bob Coy… I only listened to him on the radio occasionally the past year or so… but his words touched me. His teachings and his insight touched me. He reminded me of my former pastor Isaac Hunter, who too ‘fell’ into sin. We all fall, but we don’t all get up. I pray for the encouragement of this pastor and his congregation — God, the creator of the universe, is STILL madly in love with you, Bob. Congregation: love him, forgive him, help him recover… don’t let him think he is alone in this. Satan is about tearing down those who build up… don’t let him.

  15. If any fallowed after the man Bob Coy, and not for the Man that he represented then shame on you. It’s not about Bob Coy, but Jesus. Yes, I was greatly saddened to hear that Bob had sinned and because of it step down. I don’t know what happened, but I know that nothing we do can ever surprise God, and that there is nothing to great or to small for Him to handle. What ever it was I pray that Bob would seek the Lord for forgiveness and restoration, that no matter how hard this is that his lovely wife would walk beside him and help keep him focus at hand to fallow after our Lord and Savior, to be restored and going about the Fathers business and to also forgive her husband for what ever it was. I pray for his children not to believe the lies that are being put out by Satan, but to seek the truth of our loving Heavenly Father. I pray for people to come along and minister to the Coy family in this time. I also pray for the people of Ft. Lauderdale and the other people affected by his ministry that they would not be shaken, but to hold fast to the truths of Gods Word. Yes, I know about James 3:1 “My brethren, LET NOT MANY OF YOU become teachers, knowing that WE shall receive a stricter judgment.” this was miss quoted earlier. This is a warning to take Gods Word seriously and the call, IF CALLED seriously. If by the other quote then no one should teach and share the Gospel. Yes, I believe that Bob was called to the ministry that he was serving in, yes, I believe him stepping down was the right thing to do and yes, I still believe that God still has a wonderful plain and purposes in Bob Coy,s life. When I look at and read Hebrews 11 and read about the hall of fame faith of men and women it does not talk about their failure, but their faith in God. But we know by looking back through scripture that their lives were not all put together but they also had their faults. God never said, oh you failed big time and now I can’t you you. Look at the life of King David and all his failures and the Lord still used him and said that he was a man after Gods own heart. Yes, David had a lot that he regretted, but that did not stop God from using him. So my challenge to you is were is you heart, are you going to fall after men that will fail you or are you going to fall after Jesus Chris who will never fail you? Are you going to let this shake you or are you going to draw closer to God? ” we do not war against flesh and blood, but against principalities…against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.” Ephesians 6:12 Are you praying for your pastor, the people in leadership, family members, boss, coworkers, etc? Prayer is what holds the hole armor together and how we are most effective in battle against the enemy.

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  17. I hope that Bob Coy will stand up right from where he has fallen, with the strength and grace of our LORD JESUS CHRIST, and continue to run the race that is set before him. We can finish this race by His grace alone. There is no other way…

  18. All I can say it that I haven’t once wondered or questioned what this “moral failure” was exactly. Why? Because it really doesn’t matter. I am in tears if sadness to hear that Bob Coy will no longer be at Calvary. I have struggled and still am struggling through many troubled times in my life. I looked to Bob Coy over any other Pastor to help me through those times. No matter the sin, small or big, nothing will ever change the fact of how Bob Coy has helped me and so many others. I almost feel as though I can’t go in without him but I know that’s not how to look at it. I will find peace and have faith in other Pastors. I sure wish they didn’t end everything linked to Bob Coy as of he never existed and as of there is nothing to show for all he had done. It’s sad. I know we will all move on including The Coys but it sure won’t be the same. I feel blessed to have had the honor to have attended the teachings in which I did with Pastor Bob Coy. I will continue to listen to what CDs I have and read his books to only hear his voice as always looked up to. God Bless!

    1. Gina, you are correct in that nothing will change how you have been helped in the past. One truth that I have been thinking about lately is this: What happens in a time of weakness does not invalidate what happens in a season of strength. God will speak to you and minister to you through other pastors, without a doubt. As far as it relates to the media being taken down, if you haven’t done so already, check out this statement from Calvary: http://www.calvaryftl.org/calvary-blog/where-did-the-media-go/

  19. This is a very nice article. The devil is in the business of destroying families and doesn’t like to see people come to Christ. Pastor Bob was a greater target as I’m sure the devil was not happy about the souls Pastor Bob has saved through his teachings of Jesus Christ. His sins do not take away the lives he saved through his teachings and I pray that those taught by him don’t let the devil take their eyes from Christ because of this. I hope that Pastor Bob is restored, redeemed, and renewed and that his family is as well.

    1. TG, I once heard it said, “As a Christian you become a target for the enemy. When you are a pastor or in ministry, you become a bullseye.” We continue to pray and seek the Lord. It will be a rough road, but God is gracious every step.

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  21. Pastor Sieler, Calvary Ft Lauderdale is my home church. Your post and prayer for my pastor mean so much. I cried so hard i had to read it twice so i didnt miss anything. Thank you for the clear explanation and compassion in your words. I felt it and i’m so deeply grateful.

    1. Kelly, you are very welcome. I am glad that I was able to minister to you. You go to a great church! You will continue to be loved and fed there.

  22. WOW…Pat…I so wish others in the media & ministry would share Words of Wisdom like this with the world….I AM SO PROUD OF YOU MY DEAR OLD FRIEND!!! I recall meeting that young guy right out of college and remember celebrating your marriage to God’s Perfect Girl for you… Praying for you, your family, and for God to Continue to USE YOU!!!
    We Love You!!
    LizE (Miami)

  23. Amen. Thank you Pastor Pat…I too love Pastor Bob and through his teachings 12 years ago was led into a deeper and intimate relatilnship with our Lord. I totally agree with everything you wrote and my family and I have kept him, his wife, children and the entire CCFL family in our daily prayers. May we all learn humility and may we all offer grace and forgiveness continually. Blessings! – Jaime Hernandez

      1. I heard a sermon from Dobson ys. ago called, ”How much is
        your sin going to cost us?”

        This could not have been a shock to Mr Coy…
        IF you had a relative die in a car, without a seat belt,
        wouldn’t put yours on???

        If you were warned about a speed trap and others who got
        tickets, would you speed ahead?
        Put your armor on man, or don’t be a lead soldier.

        Worse yet, and not addressed, is the large loss in female
        followers and loss of trust in male leaders.

        I have heard from fellow parishioners that if an interview
        candidate had HER PHd in theology, she would still be relegated to children’s
        church, because she “can’t teach men anything”

        Watching my wife teach a very large class over the yrs,, I have seen men walk in and then out of her class sighting
        that they “have nothing to learn from a female teacher.”

        If Joyce Meyers leads you to Christ is it somehow invalid?
        /yes, I actually had a pal of mine tell me that !

        Think about it, our female members are told they can’t teach,
        since men have nothing to learn from females, yet they, male teachers are
        letting us all down in droves.

        Maybe it is time for male leaders to LEARN from females and
        not prohibit them from teaching the gospel and their insights.

  24. Very well written article. How I wish every Christian affected by this would read it! In fact, it sounds just like something Pastor Bob would teach! I’ve learned so much from any pastor’s transparency (because its real life) and how God’s word relates to it. As painful as this is, as sad as it is and as destructive as it may be to some, many (including myself) are continuing to learn even from this situation. God uses all things for His glory and our good and this will be no different if we stay teachable and in prayer willing to examine our own hearts. The enemy’s work is on steroid these last days and we all need to pay attention. Prayers will continue for Pastor Bob, his family and the church family from the hills of Arkansas.

    1. Diane, you have been well taught! Jesus is our only hope, He still has a plan – for Pastor Bob and for all of us.

      1. I was devastated when they took away the teachings of Pastor Bob McCoy. I learned so much from him. I am disheartened by his mistakes. I pray for his victims and for him. IJNA It’s now 2023. I have never forgotten his teachings. I have my own failures. I’d hate to think that from my own mistakes I made, my whole life would be ignored/invisible…the benefits I had to offer. What a tragedy. I understand both sides of this coin… Let this be a reminder we are all forgiven if we ask.,God is good. God bless all of you! IJNA

  25. I may not have the same story/experience as you’ve had, but that doesn’t mean I had any less respect and heart felt shock at the news. I’m sorry if I came across as disrespectful, or challenging the devotional based theology you’re teaching… It just seems that if we’re going to stand against the wiles of the devil, we’d better not be handicapped by feel-good sentiments.

    1. No apology necessary, Greg. The devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. We live on a battleground, not a playground!

      1. Thanks, Pat. Really appreciate your understanding. Agree with you on both points. And while, all too often, we head out to the battleground as though coming off the playground (nerf sword, plastic shield/armor) Your comment about the roaring lion brought to mind David and what he had/used to kill the lion attacking his father’s flock.

  26. We will continue to pray for the Coy family, for Calvary Ft. Lauderdale and for all the pastors that are under siege; as they seek to serve our Lord and minister to His people.

    1. Guillermo, how right you are! Prayer for pastors is so, so necessary. Our battle is not against flesh and blood but against the principalities, powers, rulers and darkness of this age. (Ephesians 6:12). Prayer is the weapon we use to fight this battle.

  27. Thank you for such a wonderful story, it made me cry… God has guided me today to cover my Pastor’s transgressions as HE has covered mine… I lovingly and kindly told people I did not want to gossip about Pastor Bob… Praying with tears of love for the “Coys.”

    1. You’re welcome, Jo-Ann. It’s been a very, very tough day for a lot of people. Yet nothing takes the Lord by surprise. He is still on the throne. We “weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15).

  28. I appreciate this response to the situation versus articles I see many friends and attendees of Calvary FTL of which they challenge people who are quick to forgive Bob. Sin is sin. Yes there are consequences for sin and Pastor Bob is experiencing them on a public stage-why should we as Christians condemn him further? Thank you for looking at this biblically.

    1. Author

      Yes Lynne. At times like this we trust the leadership that God has raised up. Only those very close to the situation know all the details. It’s best for us to pray, be very cautious about our response, and keep our eyes on Jesus.

    2. Thank you, Lynne. At times like this we trust the leadership that God has raised up. Only those very close to the situation know all the details. It’s best for us to pray, be very cautious about our response, and keep our eyes on Jesus.

  29. Amen! As a faithful CC member I am still reeling but God is in control. Forgiveness is his middle name and I hope that as christians, we too can do the same and forgive. Pastor Bob has taught me to be a better christian and for that, I am grateful

    1. Author

      Yes, May, God is in control. I, too, have learned much from Pastor Bob. We do have a Biblical responsibility to forgive! (For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. (Matthew 6:14-15)

    2. Yes, May, God is in control. I, too, have learned much from Pastor Bob. We do have a Biblical responsibility to forgive! (For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. (Matthew 6:14-15)

      1. My mother went to this church and knew Pastor Coy personally on a business and associate level having notihng to do with the church long before that (she did not know he was a pastor of a mega church for a long while into their business relationship and always thought he was a great guy) . Nevertheless I did not know him or ever hear a sermon by him but I have my own home church that I attend regularly as a Christian, and im just shocked at how many people go on and on about whether THEY should forgive hIM– THAT IS NOT YOUR PLACE AS A CHRISTIAN!!! THAT IS THE LORD’S PLACE AND BETWEEN MR COY AND THE LORD , AS faR AS “FORGIVENESS” GOES!!! He who is unrighteous in *any* way is unrighteous in *all* ways in the eyes of the Lord, the only perfect person to walk this Earth ALREADY DID, and if anyone thinks that leaders in Christian Ministry are somehow immune or ABOVE this, perhaps their Christian Leaders have done way worse a sin than anything Mr. COY may have done, in perpetuating TRUE FALSEHOODS of our basic Christian tenets of belief..

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